Confidence

“Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.” -Murphy's Law on Sex

A word about confidence:

Confidence is always picked up on women's radar.

Just like dogs can smell fear, women smell confidence (or lack of it).

They can tell, within five minutes of talking to you, whether you are a confident person or not. This is not to be confused with arrogance: you don't want to talk to her like she is below your standards. The difference is that you can approach her without getting nervous, being able to listen when she is talking and treating her as if you are not after her.

The problem with confidence is that it is very hard to fake it for long periods of time. But there are certain things to do and not to do that will read “definitely confident on her radar screen”:

0) Before approaching her, remember the hottest chick you have ever been with. Is this new one better than your all time best? Probably not, right? So why should you feel nervous about a chick that isn't the hottest you have been with?

1) Look at her straight in the eye; don't over stare. Be comfortable when she looks you in the eye and don't immediately look away.

2) Smile (not a sly grin like “let's have sex”, but as if you are having a great time)

3) Straight posture, not army like. Just a slight slant.

4) No nervous ticks (like jiggling coins in your pocket or scratching your ear). You can use your hands vividly to illustrate stories or events but don't over do it; you will need to maintain your composure to use the “Boob-touch” technique.

5) Don't be intimidated or leave if another guy tries to hit on her while you two are talking. If he hangs around and starts a conversation with her or if he is trying to pick her up in front of you, simply introduce yourself while making “showdown” eye contact and see how he reacts. He should realize that you were working on her and back down. If he doesn't back down, then hang around till it is clear who she is going to be with. If she involves you in the conversation, then stay; otherwise, excuse yourself claiming that you are going somewhere else (bathroom, bar, juke box etc).

6) Don't jump in to “dating” related topics, as if you were trying to get her number too fast. No chick will ever admit that she is out looking to meet someone she can date and get serious with. They claim that they don't want to get serious with anyone right now, even though they may be in desperate need of a man. If they ask if you are dating anyone, claim that you recently broke up (and if they inquire, claim that it was because your girl moved to Europe, not because you had a fight with her or because you got her pregnant and are now hiding).

7) Keep your topics uplifting, projecting the image like you are some sort of super guy at work, at exercise, with people and social life. Don't ever mention hate or rudeness or any negative feeling or emotion. You may be joking about killing everyone in the bar for a beer, but her sense of humor may not be like yours. She may even laugh at your morbid jokes, but it gets her wondering. And you never want to get women wondering; they are too good at it.

8) Get just as excited, serious or sad as she is. It starts you two off on the same wavelength, making conversation easier. However, don't over empathize with her. If she is sad cause her dog died, don't start crying. Similarly, a fake laugh at her joke will do more damage than good.

9) If she has to go somewhere in the middle of your conversation, let her. If she insists she will be right back then give her five minutes. Any longer than that move on to someone else (unless you know you two were getting along great. If she gives you one of those “I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right”, move on or wait for her from a different location where you can see her but she can't immediately see you. If she does come back and is looking for you, you can then step forward and pick up where you left off. If she doesn't come back, at least you won't be standing there like her puppet.

10) Don't say you're sorry or ask for permission for asking personal questions. If she claims that it's personal, tell her that you are not the FBI or CIA and that she can ask you a personal question after she answers yours.

The topic of confidence could go on forever, but what I usually do is pretend I already have a girlfriend that looks great and that is lots of fun. If you can simulate this mental state, it will come through and convey that idea to her. It will spell out “ I'm used to girl of your caliber and I'm yet to be impressed by you”. At this point, it will be up to her to have to work hard and convince you to talk and discover her, not the other way around.

“Men lose more opportunities in their conquests by their lack of style than through the virtue of women.” - Ninon de Lenclos

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