Clean up

Here is a list of things you must do to look good for women.

All the things in this list are simple grooming procedures that they notice if it is not done:

•  - Fix your hairstyle (make sure the back of your neck looks good too)
•  - Shower (duh!)
•  - Cut nails
•  - Wash face
•  - Cologne, deodorant, and after shave on
•  - Trim-nose hairs
•  - Brush teeth
•  - Use Visine (if eyes are red)
•  - Tan
•  - Shave between eyebrows (no una-brow or monobrow)
•  - Clean shoes
•  - Bring breath mints
•  - Why? How will they know I didn't shower today? Or why should my shoes be shined? Here is how women get disgusted by certain things:
•  - Nose and ear hairs are ugly to look at and can tickle them during making out.
•  - Dirty long nails are dangerous during foreplay, as well as filthy.
•  - Neck hairs just look like trailer-trash.
•  - Yellow dirty teeth portray a dirty mouth, whether it is or not. Totally un-kissable.
•  - Chest-stick-out hairs are an unwanted preview of hairy things to come.

Think like a chick for a second: Your nose is more sensitive than a man's. Therefore, you are disgusted by the way men smell most of the time. (Unless that's your fetish.) Your eyes are better trained. So, you decide to look for hints that will tell you whether he is clean or dirty. Being a woman, you are extraordinarily perceptive on pinpointing little things; and you are even better at extrapolating bad conclusions from the evidence. (Like finding a long blond hair in your passenger seat and immediately asking for a divorce.)

Given these super-powers, women are always on the look out for the clean guy.

The one who won't be rubbing zits on them during foreplay.

The one with cut-nails that won't be scarring them up in you-know-where.

The one with the fresh breath and brushed teeth with no food parts to be found.

The hair she won't get lice from.

Avoiding “the aspirin-white “ skin tone that just spells out NERD.

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